In today’s ever broadening tech world is it reasonable to expect parents not to allow any screen time? I don’t think so.
We allow and utilize screen time...
I say utilize because honestly, it’s most often used as an educational tool to keep my toddler occupied for a short period of time.
Now I’m not saying it’s impossible for parents keep their toddlers screen free. I know there are plenty of parents out there who are able to entertain and distract their kids as needed all while keeping their sanity.
I, however, am not one of them.
I do think limitations are important, but completely excluding them is not possible for me, and I’m tired of beating myself up for it.
Why is screen time getting such a bad rap?
I think the biggest reason I see parents being harped on for allowing their young children to have screen time is that it may delay them developmentally in regards to their social and language skills.
I think that depends.
I take time each day to sit and interact with my child and working on language is always on my mind, but it always comes naturally as well.
I think it’s natural with most parents when they’re interacting with their babies and toddlers. We use revving sounds when playing cars, talk about the colors and shapes, mimic animal sounds, and we are also exaggerating our facial expressions.
Educational television could actually enrich your child’s mind and broaden their world. A book is great but it lacks movement – a book can’t show you how a penguin waddles!
We do limit how often, how long, and what content she watches.
My husband and I also have agreed not to buy her a tablet at this time. It would definitely be a lot more convenient…but that’s exactly the reason why we’re waiting for now.
If I don’t have to give her my phone, or watch what she’s watching on our home television I will probably be tempted to let her have more screen time.
As long as a majority of your child’s day is enriched with independent play, social play, activities, literature, art, music, and/or outdoor time then in my humble mom opinion whip out that screen when you feel you need it and do not feel ashamed!
Here's when we allow it most often
1. Poopy Diaper Changes
Ever since my now 18 month old could roll (and she was an early roller) it has been a struggle to change her diaper.
I have tried every other trick in the mom book.
I scoured the internet and search topic threads in mom group chats. While I did find plenty of ingenious ideas, they only worked temporarily or sometimes. In case you’re curious: electric toothbrush, book, special toy, random household item – to name a few. I do often use these tactics for wet diapers to attempt to keep her still-ish.
I CANNOT stay calm when she is reaching down to touch her poop, nor can I stay calm when she’s squirming, rolling and bucking with poop on her. I just can’t!
Instead of completely losing my cool (come on it’s poop!)- I give her my phone with a Netflix show. This helps both of us stay calm, the floor and furniture clean, her hands occupied and my sanity intact.
2. While I'm cooking
More often than not, my husband is working or sleeping when I’m preparing meals. He works well over 40 hours a week and very odd shifts. So, I’m on my own.
At breakfast and lunch she is usually occupied enough by her toys, or I can set up a simple activity away from the stove.
By dinner though her patience is thin and her need for attention always seems highest. Dinnertime is when the meals I am preparing are the most dangerous, the oven is often on and if I’m using a frying pan there is always a chance for hot oil, foods, etc. to splatter.
For her safety I put on a show to distract her.
Heck, it’s for my safety too. It’s hard to focus on not chopping off your fingers when you have a child screaming and trying to push you away from the counter.
3. When we are in public
I’m talking about grocery shopping, restaurants, doctors visits, etc.
I usually distract her with coloring, walking, or snacks but at a certain point her patience runs out.
There have been plenty of times I have not felt the need to give her my phone to watch a show but when the doctor is running behind, the food is taking too long, or there are only 2 checkout lanes I often give in to avoid a meltdown.
As a last resort.
These are times I don’t initially hand it over. I like to give her the opportunity to absorb her environment, be social, and talk about what we see.
4. Car rides
I don’t always immediately hand her my phone or secure it to the mount that’s attached to the seat next to her.
However, my girl is not a fan of being confined. Strapping her in is often my cardio for the day.
If she’s having a difficult time I give her my phone as a distraction.
What exactly is she missing out on by watching something educational as opposed to staring at the headrest for 20 minutes?
5. If I mentally need it
I’m a stay at home mom. My daughter is an only child. Most of our family and friends work. My husband works long odd hours. My parents are in Florida for the winter and I live in a place that snows.
I am touched 5 million times a day and 100 percent responsible for another human being almost 24/7.
Sometimes I need a reset.
I do feel some guilt with this one, but if it was my friend telling me she put on animal planet for 10 minutes so she could take a few uninterrupted breaths I would absolutely encourage her.
It’s funny how that works isn’t it.
I’m working through those mom guilt feelings and I think you should too.
It’s okay momma.
Your rules may look different
And that’s okay!
We all have different backgrounds, work schedules, parenting styles, and strengths.
These all play a role in how much screen time we might allow.
Give yourself grace, and don’t let anyone make you feel less than for handing your kid a phone or tablet when YOU feel it’s necessary or even if you just WANT to.
You are the parent and you can choose to give your child screen time ANY time you want to! You don’t NEED a reason! You don’t need to feel bad about it either!
In my opinion, if someone says they never allow screen time they’re either a liar or a saint.
